Brand : Adele Faber;Elaine Mazlish

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber (1991-08-05)



Blueeyedtechieintx |

My all-time favorite parenting book.

I'm reviewing the book, 'how to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk', by adele faber. i enjoy reading parenting books because i'm far from an expert. this book is my absolute most favorite parenting book. this book will be useful if you have a three-year-old, or a fifteen-year-old. when you first start to read to book, you will have a tendency to tell yourself, 'i don't talk like that to my kids', and then after multiple examples you find yourself thinking, 'i guess i do say those things...'. the book has illustrations of conversations between kids and adults and how they are normally handled (incorrectly) and how to say thing right things to communicate better. the author even gives you an example of an adult having an issue with a boss, and then gives you about 8 different ways a friend could respond to your gripe about your boss. in the end, you realize the most useful response but also can remember using the other non-useful responses on friends and family. this book has pages for you to do 'homework'. you can write down responses you would use in certain situations, and then it walks you through what is suggested. my favorite book feature is the illustrations because you can identify with so many of the situations. this is the type of book you can read over and over again and still pick up pointers for dealing with kids, and just about anyone. it's an easy read and eye opening. i highly recommend any parent or caregiver read this book.

Star |

30 years later, it still works!

As a mother of a 2.5-year-old and a 5-month-old, i'm always looking for tips on how to be a better parent. i also don't have a lot of time to read. i therefore was doubly delighted to find this book, which gave me many valuable ideas for communicating with my children while taking only about a couple of days to read cover-to-cover. "how to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk" is structured as a practical manual, guidebook, and exercise book, which allows one to put the learnings into practice immediately. it focuses on 6 key areas in how we communicate with children, with a chapter devoted to each: 1. helping children (and parents!) deal with their feelings 2. engaging cooperation 3. alternatives to punishment 4. encouraging autonomy 5. praise 6. freeing children from playing roles each chapter, in addition to hands-on exercises and examples in the form of cartoons, contains some real-life examples from parents who had put these ideas into action. this no-nonsense, to-the-point approach is perfect for a busy parent. while reading this book, i was able to put many of the insights gleaned into action immediately, with impressive results. for example, my older daughter had separation anxiety on her first 2 days at preschool, crying and desperately clinging to me every time i had to leave her. on the third day, when i applied the principles of validating her feelings, and letting her know that it's ok to feel sad, to my amazement she let go of my hand without any tears. i am convinced that if this can work on a 2.5-year-old, it will work on an older child. the last part of the book, added for the 1999 edition, contains some follow up letters from readers received by the authors in the intervening years. it also contains some follow-up q&a, such as a question on whether "time-outs" are appropriate (their opinion is "no"). in summary, i wholeheartedly recommend this book to any parent, grandparent, teacher, or anyone else who has children in their life. however, i would caution that this framework will work best with older children (preschool age and up), who can understand more complex ideas and communicate their feelings. for the younger toddler set, i believe other books geared to that age group would be more appropriate.

Ilse |

Regain your sanity, parents!

This book has tangible and incredibly effective tools to get you out of negative interaction with which is so easy to fall into habit (who doesn't like being treated respectfully and offered appropriate choices??)... if you find yourself frustrated, at a loss for words and actions (or if those you have don't feel right even if they've been done for centuries), do yourself a favor and get this book. in any of its formats!